Fishy Business

 So I've recently picked up a new choice-based game. You know the kind. It's like a movie but you make some of the characters' decisions. These decisions reflect and affect the character you're playing as well as the relationships.  Lemme just get this out of the way, Shit is hard. Turns out, being a people pleaser makes life in game hard too! Luckily, the game encourages me to just be a little less me. And, in a way, it teaches me to not people please in a sense. You're not always going to be able to make people happy, especially with tough decisions. But keep in mind that you're doing it for the true best interest of either yourself or the other person. Which, in a sense, prevents resentment down the line. Honestly, bad first choice for gaming buuuut still educational. Oh and I did well in my quiz yesterday.   That's all from me,  Cheers :) 

 So Uhhhhh, I was working on Monsters again last Sunday and uh. WEll it didn't save. I pretty much zapped half the script and it's all gone. I got a quiz in like half an hour and I reaaaally don't want to go to Uni. It's funny how I was all about doing my best in Uni in the first semesters. And then at some point I genuinely stopped caring. Yes, a good GPA means better job chances. But after going through enough subjects with genuinely horrible professors, the only thing keeping me going is... friendship.    Turns out one of the biggest consequences of not having an academic batch (as in a whole lotta people) is that when your friends go to different subjects or have different interests. Everything that kept you going stops. No more people to remind you of tests. No more group studying. No more of a lot of stuff, essentially.   It's sad because I liked when I performed well in Uni. I obviously still care enough to write about it (Instead of actually going to Uni), a...

 I honestly don't remember exactly what this is   I think I was likening the dynamic of a family and children fighting one another becasue the government is a bad parent or osmething 

 I woke up at 1 am today and I have barely any energy left in me. So I decided, as one naturally does, to talk about every stupid thing you should avoid in friendships.   1. DOn't delete text messages 2. Don't overshare. 3. If you do overshare.Talking more is not going to fix it. SHUT the !@#!$ up.  4. No seriously, you're making it worse. Shut up! 5. Don't make everything about yourself. and number 6. On a scale of "taking no accountability" to "taking all accountability" PLease for the love of god. sTAY in the middle It sounds so simple, but if you're trying to do one in favor of avoiding the other. You end up being exactly what you're trying to avoid. Unbearable. Number 7. Don't apologise too much, again related to number 6   Number 8.   Don't take your friends being different than you as an offense. Difference is not going to make you unbearable Number 9. Stop walking on eggshells. Live with your friends. Not in your head.    Numb...

 Honestly, I still don't like to use Instagram anymore. Especially given that I don't have people to talk to on it. Most of my friends, I talk to on WhatsApp. I'm old, I know! Sue me! But I came across this cute Reel the other day and I saved it because it kinda just… It resonated with me.  Lots can be said;Wars of misunderstanding, misconceptions and unfaltering anger and sorrow could go on forever. But, why though? Why opt for cheap tricks and accusations and whatever weird stratagem to look for a hidden meaning that isn't there. Maybe taking things at face value is enough.    You're still confused while reading this, I probably will whenever I revisit this in the future. That, or I will laugh at myself mockingly.  Regardless, and as embarrassing as it is to share, here's the reel I want to share. LINK GOES HERE    When you're busy, whether by choice or force, you don't get time to wallow and self evaluate. Unless the surrounding things encourage or ...

 This kinda sucks, I managed to complete editing the second video. It took me a while, and it's not even a main video. Honestly, with how things are looking the videos that I want to make are like a graduation project. I work on smaller things and improve little by little, with my main goal being to complete the videos I actually wanted to make in the first place .. Is this what ambition feels like? I think my only problem right now—other than the midterms— is that the video refuses to upload. I spent my entire night on this thing and it's refusing to get uploaded... Damnit  And it's not an internet issue. Because the first video I uploaded took no time at all. Could be a lot of things. Baba messed with the network settings before leaving on Friday, so maybe it's that? No.. My brother reset the network last night. This is truly puzzling for me.  Meh, perish the thought.  Completely forgot to mention how crazy today was.. By crazy, I mean a lot happened and I ended up...

 It turns out that as soon as I give something more effort than the first spark of interest, things get complicated. I've been working on my second video for the better part of a week going on two. I've written and recorded it 4 different times as of the current date and I still have more things that I want to work on.  For one, despite the clear outlines of what I want to talk about, as soon as I hit record I immediately start generating more ideas and developments. I'm never satisfied by what I've produced—which goes against everything I'm aiming for, by the way.  The original goal is to make things first, correct things later. Complete side note, I just learned how to write an emdash.. Apparently, while the numlobck is active, press the alt button with the numbers 0151 on the number pad. Ok ok ok—back on topic.  The problem I'm currently facing is that somehow I feel like I'm not addressing the topic properly. Which is very important to me, because the vi...

Hi! Me again! I've returned with a simple question, when you think of the word monster, what comes to mind? Is it A) Weird Looking humanoids like the SlenderMan or Clowns B) Furry Monsters  like Freddzy Fazbear or Werewolves C) Maybe it's the Zombies from Half life 2  D) Aliens I'll give you a couple seconds to lock-in your pick... There are no correct answers, this is just a query.   Are ya done? I would like to inform you that I lied. There is a correct answer and it was none of these. The actual and only monster that you should think of is ... yourself. Let me explain. 

 A lot has happened in the past 24 hours. I'm thankful for it all. Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah. I honestly don't know where to start. I made a YouTube video a couple days ago. It was a test run to see what I needed to do and what I needed to work on. It was fun. Just yesterday, one of my favorite YouTubers commented on it... Granted that I did ask him to check it out. It's still cool that he did. If you watch the video, you'll notice that the audio quality is trash. I noticed it too, so I called up my uncle to get his input on where I can get a good microphone... Turns out he had spares. So I got a good microphone for free!! Oh and also, I got Red Pajamas!!! They're comfy, they're red. They look cool, they're also red. Did I mention that they're red? Mom got back with my brothers and she had gifts for everyone.. So did I, of course. Bought her really pretty scrunchies.. I got her scrunchies before because I really don't know what else I...

 "This is goodbye" is what Ali said to me tonight. I was puzzled by his statement so I asked if he was going to pass on.  He wasn't, thankfully. He was just leaving Egypt for an unforeseeable amount of time.  My friendship with Ali is glazed in absence– He's always busy and out of reach, but it's not something painful. It feels balanced in a sense. Yet, when he explained that he was leaving, I couldn't help but feel a little hurt.  Obviously, I'm glad he's getting booted outta here. This place sucks.  But why did it bother me this much? Most of our conversations are online anyways. I don't know. But he's an amazing friend. Him and his brother. I'm glad I met him. Looking back at other things I've lost in the past, I'm pretty sure it's just the lack of contact or reaching out. My first ever childhood friend moved away a couple times and so did I. Eventually, as life happened. We stopped talking. Maintaining things requires consci...